part of the turn

I had two separate conversations today dealing with the thorny issue of two human beings trying to get along. One of the people that I spoke said that he craved order and the prospect of a new relationship was stressful because it might mess with his plan. In the other conversation, a couple of good people were struggling to get along because the rules and expectations that have been placed on them are preventing them from really engaging each other.

When we pursue a better system rather then relationship it like we are shrink wrapping our furniture. We may keep it clean, but we’re not leaving anyone with much to enjoy. This doesn’t only apply to two people, it also impacts our ability to have a relationship with God.

I came across this quote today by Dietrich Bonhoeffer while reading The Shaping of Things to Come by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch:

Discipleship means adherence to Christ and, because Christ is the object of that adherence, it must take the form of discipleship. An abstract theology, a doctrinal system, a general religious knowledge of the subject of grace or the forgiveness of sins, render discipleship superfluous, and in fact exclude any idea of discipleship whatsoever, and are essentially inimical to the whole conception of following Christ… Christianity without the living Christ is inevitably Christianity without discipleship, and Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ.

Christianity is not a doctrine but a person to whom I trust myself without reserve.

It sounds so obvious but I understand the temptation to get cozy with comfortable theories rather then encounter the unpredictable person of Christ. I’ve also found recently that our need for a systematic approach to life can actually be a hinderance to all relationship, not just our relationship with God.

In this, discipleship and friendship have a lot in common. If our plans, theologies or need for order come between us and our encounter with each other or with God, we have completely missed the point.

God, may we get pass our need to control and learn your heart for the freeing, unpredictable and beautiful dance that a friendship can be.